Dancing at Disco's Eating Cheese on Toast
So a lot has happened recently. I was hired as a freelancer for an amazing woman and I am so ready to jump in and learn everything possible. However, this is not what's on my mind. For the last month or so, I've been seeing this guy and everything about it has been great. We have fun and there's absolutely no pressure to be someone I can't be.
His Problem: He just started an overwhelming new job, djs on the weekends and rarely has time for himself, let alone his friends or me. He's stressed for not being able to do everything at full-speed all the time and doesn't think he's ready to start telling people he can't do things in order to make his life less complicated. His last relationship was the intense attached-at-the-hip sort and can't see himself in that position any time soon.
My Problem: I'm just beginning to pull my life together. I have no idea how intense this new job will be except that it will make me work harder than I have before. I still live at home and am really financially dependent on my family. I'm still rebuilding a friend base since graduation and haven't quite adjusted to living with out my college friends. I just got out of a serious relationship and can't handle being in one again any time soon.
Our Problem: We really like each other, the chemistry is there, it's just that when we're hanging out we're both thinking about our "problems" it takes from the moments we're together. That distraction leads to silent hanging out and awkwardness. We're also non-confrontational, ignore it until it fixes itself types and this may have gone on a little too long.
The Understanding: So we talked it over and decided to see each other less but proceed without moving forward in to a relationship. Very gray area, very traditional me. At first I was a little bummed out and annoyed. He must not like me enough to make this work when really, it's not that much to deal with. Why not just suck it up and take a chance on something? He's putting up a block because it's easier and no one does that better than me- move stealer! He is a major idiot for this and will have to grow up eventually, might as well start now...
But then I started thinking about where I am and I wouldn't want to be with someone like me. I live at home, that is a major inconvenience. I can rarely pay for things, another major inconvenience. I will be so much happier when I get my life together and as much as it sucks, I have to be realistic about that. If I wouldn't be thrilled to date me than why should I expect any one else to? This is a bad time to begin a relationship and I know it.
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