A Girl With A Blog

I think it's great to see my friends in happy relationships. It reduces those ''there are no good guys out there, guys are the worst, I'm so fat, I hate my life'' conversations on dreaded Girls' Night Out. However, I am totally opposed to girls who are attached at the hip with their boyfriend. 

Maybe it's because I have never been the type that needs to have a guy around. Even when I'm in a relationship, I don't want to spend every hour of every day with him. I don't like calling multiple times a day, a text works so much better. A weekend without him doesn't make me paranoid he's with someone else and I'm never going to call him in a panic because we haven't made plans for dinner. I have little understanding for my friends who are like this and lately it has been getting me in trouble.

My birthday was Friday and last minute two of my favorite people were going to be late because of previous engagements with their boyfriends. Yuck. I was going to get stuck at a bar by myself on my birthday waiting for someone to show up to celebrate with me and I was not having this. Not on my birthday. Not when I have 8 very loyal college friends who live all over the country and couldn't make it. Not on a day that made me super emotional and anxious that no one wanted to show up. And especially not after one of the pre-mentioned friends suggested I cancel?! Oh no, I was not going to let this happen!

I acted a little, okay a lot, passive aggressive towards these girls which I shouldn't have. Luckily, my cousins met me and saved the day. The friends showed with guys in tow and we all got over it, or at least I did. However I'm still stuck on the question, what makes girls choose boys over their friends? 

Almost just as annoying, is the inevitable frustration these friends feel about their relationship after ditching you for awhile. Either the guy wants some space and they equate this with ''It must be over, he doesn't want to be with me anymore'' or they feel guilty because they haven't seen their friends in a while and miss that connection. Then you have to sit there and reassure them that everything is going to be okay if they just chill the eff out. When you would rather catch up and change the subject.

Playing advice columnist/therapist has burned me out and it really hit its height on Friday. I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive but I'm so tired of having to walk people through their boyfriends' actions. More than that, I'd really appreciate it if these girls could leave their guys at home and grab a coffee without needing to dissect every little moment. 

When I express this it's like I suggested attending a pro-life rally. I get the ''you poor thing, you must be jealous'' look, quickly followed by a defensive statement, a back-handed compliment and an angry subject change. So for the future:

a. Honestly, I am not jealous of your relationship

b. I am confident and happy with myself regardless of relationship status 

c. Unless something really awful happened (like a break up or engagement) I do not care to hear about your boyfriend right away, there is more to life than boys.

Where are my other college grad, unemployed, single girls?