too many cliches
There are way too many cliches that I could use to help describe how I've been feeling this weekend. Either way, I've been trying to make the most clear, rational and overall best decision possible. It's so tough and the last thing I want to do is hurt the person I care about most because I know that I am not capable of being in a relationship right now.
So I think of the alternative. We stay together both knowing that I'm not equally giving to the relationship but let it go because we love each other. That's not healthy. I'd rather take the time we need to be a part and trust that fate will reconnect us if that is the way it is supposed to be. The only thing I can really have faith in is that all things happen because they are meant to happen and if a break is needed then we will be collectively better for it.
Please don't hate me for the way that I feel. I have been putting so much thought in to this and I really love you. It's not fair the way I've been treating you the last 10 months... you deserve an equal partner not a dysfunctional one. Please don't hate me for the words that I write or the process I have to go through to understand myself. Just please... don't hate me forever.
I'm so sorry.
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